Governor Togiola joins the fight against
domestic violence
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month in the territory and at the forefront is Governor Togiola Tulafono who attended the opening kick off and offered remarks focused on prevention and early intervention to assist in curtailing uncontrolled anger that leads to violence in the home.
The event was coordinated by the American Samoa Coalition on Domestic and Sexual Violence Prevention and the Department of Human and Social Services (DHSS), and attendees included representatives from Mapusaga o Aiga (Family Haven) of Apia, Samoa, the American Samoa Coalition on Teen Pregnancy Prevention, American Samoa Community College, Baha’i Faith, Catholic Diocese of Samoa - Pago Pago, Catholic Social Services, Center for Families of Individuals with Developmental Disabilities, DOE’s Drug-Free and Truancy programs, Criminal Justice Planning Agency, Kanana Fou Theological Seminary, DOH’s Maternal Child Health and Rape Prevention programs, Methodist Church, Office of Samoan Affairs, DOC’s Office of Tourism, Pago Pago Village Council, Teen Challenge Ministries, U’una’i Legal Services, DHSS’s Victims of Crimes Advocacy and Prevention programs, and the YWCA chapters of American Samoa and Samoa.
In his remarks, Togiola said that Domestic Violence Month is a month to remind us “to look back, look forward, and look at what we’ve done in the past year.”
He added, “We have addressed domestic violence in the home, in our village, in church and across the Territory, and we must continue to promote awareness until we completely stop the violence on our island, permanently.”
According to the Governor, those who commit domestic violence know who they are and know that what they’re doing is wrong.
“It is important for us to emphasize the need to explore the root of the problem,” the Governor said, adding that in past, the local label or stereotype of a man who beats his wife is a ‘fasi ava,’ – which is a label that will always remain with that person.
When asked about whether or not they have – at least once – experienced violence in the home, 29 out of 40 people interviewed replied affirmatively. This means that 73% percent of those interviewed have bore witness or fell victim to violence in the home.
The majority of the people interviewed said that violent outbursts in their cases were sparked from uncontrollable anger ignited by the influence of alcohol, while other said that alcohol wasn’t a factor, as the culprit naturally possesses rage beyond control.
“The question is then: ‘Why do men beat their wives’?” asked Governor Togiola. According to him, the two reasons why men beat their wives is to show strength and of course, the presence of a short fuse that leads to explosions of anger.
“The man wants to demonstrate his strength and control. The problem with this is, it reveals a man who instead, displays the qualities of a coward for not looking for another male to test his strength. Resorting to beating his wife who cannot fight back physically perhaps gives him control but then he also remains a coward,” Togiola said.
“A short fuse as soon as you light it, blows up very quickly and this is the other cause for the violence we see around us. I believe that most of us sitting in here today are long fused, or have a long fuse, like me, it takes a while to blow up, if at all. If the fuse is extinguished then we do not have a violent situation,” he added.
The Governor addressed the men and stressed to them that it is their duty to extend the length of their fuses.
“It would be ideal to have a very long fuse that when it burns there is a chance that it would be extinguished before the explosion,” he explained.
Togiola referred back to a public service announcement from the military which recommends that before a person reacts with anger, they should sit quietly, with eyes closed, start counting slowly to ten. “When counting to ten, your voice is lowered and your anger has lowered as well, and you are in control of your anger,” Togiola said.
He added that after counting to ten and taking a deep breath, the person should try singing a verse of a hymn like “…ua soona olioli nei, lo’u loto ia Iesu.”
According to him, some of the major causes and stressors creating misunderstandings, which often leads to violence in the home, stem from: (1) unmet financial demands (2) lack of communication and (3) not being satisfied with what you have and wanting other peoples things, like somebody else’s wife, and then coming home and pick a fight with the wife.
But despite those reasons, Togiola believes that the main reason is uncontrolled anger.
“Spouse abuse is not only about women. I must add, although a small percentage and a minority, there are women who beat their husbands and particularly those in de-facto relationships. Violence that happens in your home is domestic violence whether it is spouse to spouse or parents to child. Domestic violence is domestic violence is domestic violence,” said the Governor.
Of the 40 children interviewed, all but three said that they have been “spanked” at least once in their life. These so-called spankings were not just a slap on the wrist or a tap on the behind but rather, a spanking that included the use of harsh words, excessive force, and items like a belt, a shoe, a rolled up magazine, and a closed fist.
“It is our job to find ways to slow down and defuse and diffuse this anger so violence does not occur. For us parents, our Christian values and beliefs on spanking our children in order for them to do well in life may need to be looked at. There’s a difference between a spank (sasa), and to beat (fasi). A sasa, or spank, is not a beating, but a fasi, or beating, is abuse. We use a sasa as a form of discipline and should be carried out with love (alofa) and never in anger (ita). Our duty as parents and carers is to watch how we are fulfilling these acts,” Togiola remarked.
“In closing, again I say, it all comes down to our inability to control our anger, our inability to manage our anger. My challenge for 2007, as we launch October as National Month of Awareness on Domestic Violence, is for us all to become unified in finding a cure for anger. If we can manage anger and communicate with one another, we would get wonderful results. Spread the word in your village, in your church, in your work place, that when you are angry, count from 1 to 10 slowly, sing a hymn, pray or just breathe in deeply,” the Governor continued.
He concluded, “I encourage the American Samoa Coalition on Domestic and Sexual Violence Prevention, your partner agencies, and the Department of Human and Social Services to focus on prevention and early intervention. The cure for violence is not through punishment after the act. We must promote the freedom we continue to enjoy on our island to live our lives free from abuse, and to continue to live a safe and happy life within our families, our communities and starting from within our homes.”
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